She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
