I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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