I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Mom said you looked used
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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