i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
