false alarm. still invincible.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
