i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
