how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
