You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
