I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
