Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
