If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Randomize
