You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
