He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
