i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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