i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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