You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
