I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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