we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
