So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think my moral compass just broke
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
