I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
