Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize