i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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