Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
