Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
