I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
