That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
