if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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