booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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