I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
