I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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