oh god the rape fog is back!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
