four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
