is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
