So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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