And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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