It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My ass is underappreciated
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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