Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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