Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
