i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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