Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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