I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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