Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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