I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so that wasnt chicken after all
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
