he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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