What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
