Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
