she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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