Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
