Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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