I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
