I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
