I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
