jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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