Kiss
Puke
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
