I want to stick my p in your. b.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize