Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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