ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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