Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This is not my ceiling
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
