I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
