I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize