nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
