I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
