its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
