yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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