I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
